Enduring Friendship
by Annamonk
Summary: A friend and I got to chatting last night and this happened. Plot bunny run amuck or a bit of fun? You be the judge. This is not my sandbox, but I love playing in it.
"Sorry to budge in on your date night, but I've got a problem." Neville flopped down into the booth across from Harry and Luna. He ignored Harry's glare and smiled broadly at Luna. "Why are you sitting next to each other anyway?"

"It's easier to caress Harry under the table if I sit next to him." Luna grinned and plucked up her pint with her one visible hand. Neville paused and tried to erase her answer from his mind.

Harry closed his eyes and blushed.

"After five years together, she still makes you blush." Hermione slid in next to Neville with two pints. "Sweet. Did he explain?"

"Hadn't got round to it, love." Neville took the glass she slid towards him. He trailed his fingers along hers before lifting it to his lips. "Thanks."

"Ronald showed up last night." Hermione grimaced. "Seems Lavender has had enough again. She chucked him out with all of his detritus. I do mean all of it. The man has yet to learn how to shrink things. It's a wonder he can dress himself."

"And he's sleeping in our lounge." Neville made a production of shuddering. "He gave Hermione his laundry this morning and asked her to be a love."

"He's still breathing?" Harry smirked at Hermione.

"It was a close thing." Hermione shrugged nonchalantly. "He needs to find a place of his own."

"Or his next blindly accepting female acquaintance." Luna grinned. "Lavender is obviously going to need some time. Are we out of quidditch groupies?"

"They won't be lining up. He's been suspended for the rest of the season." Harry shook his head. "He missed too many early practices."

"Can we get him back to The Burrow and change our wards?" Neville slumped in the seat. "I know he's our friend, but our place is small. He knocked over five potted plants, and Crookshanks hates him."

"He used one of my books as a coaster, and, now, it won't open." Hermione crossed her hands over her chest. "It's been one night. He has to go before I kill him and feed him to one of Neville's plants."

"Why did Lavender toss him out this time?" Harry took a long drink.

"He's gotten some teenage fan in Ireland up the duff." Hermione shrugged. "It was only a matter of time. He never did bother to learn the contraceptive charm himself."

"The Burrow is out. He'll never go there with that hanging over his head. When this hits The Prophet, the howlers will fly." Harry grimaced. "Molly will be on the war path."

They all nodded and stared into their glasses.

"No one will take him." Hermione groaned. "I'm going to have to do his damn laundry again. It's a nightmare."

"We could go to Longbottom Keep." Neville stroked her hair. "Gran would love it."

"And our flat would be rubbish within a week." Hermione slumped lower and set her forehead on the rim of her glass. "And we won't be having sex in either location."

"Are you exploring public sex venues?" Luna smiled and set the bells braided into her hair to ringing. "There's an alcove near Harry's office at the ministry that's perfect."

"Yes, well..." Hermione blushed and glanced toward Neville. He squeezed her hand and smiled. His ears were bright red.

"I'm fairly certain Hermione wasn't looking for a trysting spot." Harry kissed the side of Luna's head to hide his own pink cheeks.

"So, Ron..." Hermione pushed herself up in her seat.

"George and Angelina are out." Harry sighed. "He told her she'd need to work extra hard to lose all the fat if she wanted to keep George interested."

"She's due in two weeks, right?" Neville shook his head. "That does explain the blue feathers from last month."

"I thought they were rather pretty." Luna smiled. "They complimented his hair nicely."

"Ginny will hex him on sight. He tried to show her keeper how it's done last time he stayed there." Hermione rolled her eyes. "He's a reserve keeper, but he know all. He also called Ginny a slag when he found Dean's shirt in her closet."

"Bill?" Harry pushed his hand through his hair.

"Fleur." Hermione shook her head emphatically.

"Fireballs." Luna nodded. "He did try to seduce her sister, her underage sister."

"Giant Fireballs then." Neville leaned back against the old upholstery of the bench. "Charlie's out. It's too far."

"Charlie won't let him on the reserve again anyway." Hermione let out a long sigh. "He took some weird sandwich up to the observation deck and dropped it. One of the dragons ate it and ran mad for a few hours. Five trainers were injured."

"It's down to Percy." Harry laughed. "Never going to happen, mate. Sorry."

"We didn't think this through when we sent him to you last night." Luna looked at them apologetically.

"Bugger." Harry glanced at Hermione and blanched. "He won't stay long. He's afraid of you."

"So are you, Harry. Come and collect your best mate within the hour, or Luna will wind up having a romantic relationship with a cucumber before you'll be useful again." Hermione glared at Harry. "Honestly, you have spare bedrooms. We do not."

"Better call round to Percy." Neville winked at Harry as Hermione slid out of the booth. "Looks like he's your last chance, mate."

Neville grinned as his wife strode ahead of him toward the door. Her plans always worked perfectly. He took an extra long stride and grabbed her hand.

"I love you." Neville grinned down at her.

"Even if your Gran is right and all our children wind up in Slytherin because of my disposition?" Hermione smirked up at him.

"At least she isn't preparing to have Uncle Algie toss them out a window." Neville pulled her close and kissed her.


End file.
